Raves, Music, & Drugs

Going to RAVES was a common thing back then. My circle of friends weren't the type to only go to enjoy the TECHNO MUSIC. At these rave parties you would find an abundance of drugs of all kinds. ACID, SHROOMS, ECSTASY, WEED could be bought or shared depending on who you knew.

On this particular night we went to a huge warehouse in OAKLAND where we had all planned to take our drug of choice. For Mashaad and Sara it was ECSTASY and for me it was SHROOMS. As we roamed around checking out what was going on inside I ran into someone I knew. This guy asked my if I wanted to find some ACID. I had forgotten I already ate SHROOMS before I went in. I was stupid enough to test my limits by doing ACID as well. I felt as if I was going to lose control, go out of my mind literally. I even saw the DEVIL in my friend as she turned beet red. My friends who were both high on Ecstasy had to find a way to drive me home. I spent the rest of the night in my bed searching for any thoughts of stability. I was losing control of myself fast. I knew that if I was going to find myself and some how finish college, the drug use was going to have to stop.

Hallucinations In The Clouds

I arrived at UC Berkeley in the Summer of '96 to attend a summer bridge program before my freshman year started. Most of the students who were living on campus were athletes and those who wanted to experience what college was like before it actually began. Living in the dorms without any supervision and a desire to do whatever wasn't a good combination.

Before I ever actually entered a classroom I found myself roaming the streets of Telegraph looking for drugs. For some reason my friend Sara and I had the obsession of dropping ACID on campus. If you know anything about Berserk-Ley you already know that it didn't take us that long to find what we were looking for. Exploring our new campus became an adventure as we hiked up and down amazed at the trails we saw.

I think the reason I will never forget that night is because what I saw in the clouds. As I was high on ACID gazing into the sky I saw something that made my heart break completely. Some might think it's crazy to think that God can speak to someone while they are HIGH as a kite. But that's what happened. I had a vision of my father holding me as a baby. At the time I began crying uncontrollably because of the estranged relationship I had with my father. What I didn't know then that I know now was that my HEAVENLY FATHER was calling me. HE wanted me to know that HE had me in HIS arms and wasn't going to let go.

Berserk-Ley

Ever since I was in 6th grade I dreamed about going to Berkeley. After taking a road trip up there I knew that I wanted to go there. I remember speaking at a senior high school band banquet. Instead of thanking those who had supported me, I expressed my excitement to go to college and party. Let's just say that foreshadowed what was to come.

They call Berkeley "Berserk-Ley" for a reason. Amongst those who have dreams of graduating from Berkeley with that prestigious degree, is a dark underworld of drugs, hallucinations, and disillusionment. These short shorties give you a glimpse into my crazy world.