Lyndsey's Liquor, Camel Cigarettes & Playboy Mags...

As a kid I was always fascinated with what I thought was "ADULT STUFF". My sinful nature was very prevalent ever since I was in elementary school. I daydreamed about being able to go to the store and buy a pack of smokes. Kinda crazy huh? Well that was me. The following short stories came from experiences I had as a curious kid. Crazy stuff now that I think back on it. Here we go!

LYNDSEY'S LIQUOR

There was a friend of mine while I was in elementary school that would show me dirty mags out of his backpack. He told me that he would go to Lyndsey's Liquor, put the money on the counter, and then grab a Playboy mag and run out. See back-in-the-day dirty mags and cigarettes were at eye level for us small kids. Maybe that is part of the reason I was always fascinated with them. Lets just say that he was able to purchase several for me. Back then it wasn't really a big deal. Even though I knew I wasn't suppose to look at those mags I did it anyway. Under my mattress they went and soon began a childhood of hidden pleasures and desires. I did tell you that I wanted to be transparent. Now I just have to press "publish post". Breathe. Ok. Thanks for reading.

Holding On...

I have always been really attached to my mother. Looking back on it now, I think I was fearful of a life without her. She was my comfort blanket, one that made me feel protected and secure. My mom always provided me with so much love, support, and comfort. I remember being literally attached to my mom's hip where ever she went. Gemco mommy Gemco. (Inside Visalia joke ha ha)

As I was in my mom's arms walking into the entrance of either Preschool or Kindergarten (I don't remember) I must have thought she wasn't going to leave. As it became visible that I was going to be SEPARATED from her I began to HOLD ON to her hair! I was desperate not to be left alone. Lets just say that this was a sign of more to come.

Stage Is Set: Let the battle begin...

Growing up I never realized that the only memory that I had of my MOM and DAD together was when she left him. I will never forget. I must have been 3 or so and there was a battle for my LIFE. I was in the middle of a tug of WAR between my MOM and DAD. My mom hit a boiling point and realized that my DAD wasn't the person she thought he was when she married him. See my dad was a heroin addict with a likable personality. I guess when he wasn't strung out. He used to come home after being gone for days at a time on a drug binge. My brother has memories that aren't worth getting into. Let me just say that he wasn't father-of-the-year. I LOVE my MOM so much for making that decision to leave that situation. The battle that I thought had been WON was just beginning. This is the STORY of my LIFE my STRUGGLES my PAIN... and hopefully you follow ME to REDEMPTION.